operasi nak meninggalkan kenkyu....

hmmm...today kena hantar JABEE point sheet, our presentation powerpoint and our pdf thesis....before 5 o'clock...not really worried bout that....everthing is ready ....tniggal tunngu my other labmate nak datang je...

and then my dearest sempai came...
F-san : awak pindah bila?
saya : apa maksud sempai ..... pindah last yang dah tak kembali lagi ke ape? saya next week dah pergi 
         toyo...tak balik fukui sampai bln 3
F-san : macam nie...sensei suruh buat eksperimen lg
saya : ........
F-san : ok lah...ok lah saya buat sorang sorang

hari tu he dumped last minute work on me...suruh sokutei those little magnesium pieces...and now i know he plans to use it in his report...that doesn't have to do anything with me...tp tak pe...sabar je la....semlm tanya nie last kan lepas nie tak de dah kan...and he said yes...

and today he comes and says he wants me to come and help him do the experiment....mula2 memang nekad tak nak...nak pergi toyo....tp bila dia buat muka sedih ckp nak buat sorg2 tu...nanka rasa bersalah...patutkah saya tolong dia buat eksperimen tu...i know if isaid yes now i would regret it...heck...sekarang pun sei ippai nak keep myself happy while 'sokutei'ing those things...kita ada gimu ke kena tolong  buat benda tu...please tell　me...or are b4's intended to be their 'kuli's sampai grad nanti?

i climbed the mountain....now comes the descent...

yes...we all know going uphill is the tough part....but down also has it's 'perks'...

now i am at the phase where we have to clean up after ourselves....kemas data ....整理 JABEEnye
単位...and the task which i am really not looking forward to...kemas bilik....hahaha

those who know me know i'm not the neatest person...and in the past few weeks i've taken the term 'macam kandang dotdotdot' to a whole new level...so severe i didn't want hubby and help pack my stuff this weekend for fear that he would faint right there on the spot...

today was spent howling used cardboard boxes from my lab...and later of to mitsuwa for mei-chan's supplies...tonight after dinner...i will force myself to get down to business...

tomorrow...i plan to spend the day at lab...kemas bg lawa fail2 data...bg senang org lepas2 ni nak check..delete personal bookmarks in the com...mainly facebook and blogger...hahaha...and yes sokutei seribu kali those little magnesium pieces(not looking forward to that)...

last weekend was spent at hubby's place...renshu timing...susah tau...if he says he's coming back at 12.30...everything has to be ready and warm by then...challenge lah jugak for me who's only been cooking for myself for the last 5 years...

we spent saturday at jusco hamamatsu...jalan2 all the way to shizuoka just to shop...huhu...the only thing i bought for myself was 2 shirts that was on sale...the rest prezzies kay....had fun pilih baby stuff...ramai friends giving birth in the few months to come....masa kat gap...pening sgt coz all the stuff was so cute..last2 i made hubby pilih....green ..he picked green...oklah cute sgt that thing...so tak pelah

the only thing is i still haven't satisfied my craving to shop....gaman syaz gamannnnnnn....

第二回発表練習

ooo yes...second presentaion practice....kali ni niikawa sensei pun ada sekali...renshuu wa...maa maa...oklah kot...but still kena betulkan mcm2

anyway it was what happened before that was destressing...imagine the look on my face pg td bukak2 slide show ada diagram dh kieta...kore ha yoku aru koto deso minaasan...so have a spare ready...

semlm2 sampai dlm mimpi pun renshu ...blh tak...huhu....renshu 10min pastu tertdo...renshu sekali lg ...n then tdo balik...kono kurikaeshi de kino no yoru wo tsugoshimashita ...mana tak nya ...mimpi pun renshu ...huhu

iyo iyo ashita ha honban desu...

dear god please help me through this obsticle....amin

第一回発表練習....

hmmm.....biasela....mestilah seme benda tak kena kan...
yang tak best nye...sensei fell asleep during my happyo...and saya tak perasan...hua hua hua...apakah?
boring sangat ke naiyou happyou saya...ke my voice so the soothing ...sampai sensei terlena....hakhakhak...nainainai...

panjang sgt datte...yeah i know...semlm renshu 20 min pas tu 19 min...pastu 17...n then potong2 n potong no ato...last2 jadilah 13 minutes....

comment renshu pg td...
buang lagi buang lagi slide ....
buat jd org senang paham lg....(itu mondai nye tu...nak bg phm kena ada masa lebih 10 minit...hahahahaha)
and renshu sampai leh buat intonasi yang memberangsangkan...(mcm kena tepat je pada muka sendiri kan...my happyou mendatar je kot)...maaa...maa.maa

yg paling tak best pasal renshu hari nie... of course lah it has to do with sempai 'tersayang'ku itu...
dia blh senyum senyum senyum sinis (cm happy je )tepi sensei masa saya kena hentam tadi....uwah ...seyes rasa nak baling ngan pemadam whiteboard tu....

n then sensei suruh kumu ngan sempai....buat balik slide...
what did i get from that...sensei suruh buang slide kan...sempai saya suruh tambah...ohhhhh ...apakah....sempai tak dgr ke sensei kata td...buang buang n buang datte...
10pun de osaette to iwareta deshou....

n then jaga exam td tengahari...bagus gak...bleh saya menenangkan fikiran for 1 hour lebih2 sikit...omoshiroi tau jaga exam...tgk gelagat budak2 tu...mcm2 gaya ada....huhu

oklah gotta get back to my slides....

25minutes

presentation practice is starting in 25 minutes and i'm eating my breakfast...but seriously i feel like barfing it all back out....naik2 tangga dlm bilik renshu tu dah ada budak kenkyu sebelah tgh kena gril ngan sensei diorg(seriously those new glass walls don't help)....uwah kowai.....nasib baik itou sensei bukan sensei yg shinsa kitorg....

メンタル ブレーキダウン

mental breakdown...really...hahaha...no lah
masalah komunikasi sikit je.....hahaha

right now....i'm at the part where it seems that there is never enough time...and yes the頭がピリピリなる感覚 has returned...

so here i am 'happily' preparing my slides..and dearest hubby ym's me with various japanese sentences taken form his seniors summary...asking to look over them...tlg check eigo datte..

n now..hours after starting my slide-making activities..i'm still nowhere near...so panicky and frustrated little me....went and ym'ed him just as he was typed in another sentence ... 'yang please, 集中したい'...and so he said 'oooo,ok'...and then senyap je....

me feeling bad after that when and told him i'm sorry but i really need to get this done...still...a long silence...and i panicked again...called him up...no connection...called again....no connection

aaa sudah.....dia marah ke...iyaaaaaa...and i broke down...typical of me kan

finally he answered my call....and he was all bewildered...

rupa rupanya dia dok kat tingkat 4...takde denpa..that's why there was connection...what la.....me breaking down over that...dia bleh gelak lagi...oklah now when i think of it ...funny lah jugak kot...

plus kalau i pikir rationally he's not the type that would get mad sampai tak nak jawab phone just because i said i wanted to concentrate on my work....

must be the stress, makes me unrational...

thank you sayang for being understanding.....muahsss...love ya

ほっとした

卒論(thesis) dah hantar....yeay...
あの頭がピリピリなる感覚は提出した瞬間で止まった．melompat lompat keluar pejabat mizukami-san td...dah tak kisah dah bdk2 kenkyu len tgk....diorg lak trus gi isap rokok...

so sekrg, i'm taking a short break...relax kejap...serious the only thing in my brain right now is my body screaming 'SLEEP'....'FOOD'....you know that feeling...when you just wanna shut down but then can't pack up and leave yet...

いけない...いけない....kena sambung buat slides for pp presentation next week...can't do that at home...
so mou sukoshi gambarimashou...maybe balik awal sikit gurai kot rini...ご褒美みたいなぁ....you know something is wrong when you consider going home earlier a present to yourself

meanwhile , dearest hubby has turned into a 'japanese wife'...you know the ones that get mad when their husbands come home too early...hahaha...笑っちゃうよねぇ....tp phm phm kenapa dia mcm tu ...うちのご主人は頑張りやさんなんで...to going back at 10 is early...hahahaha

maa maa...1 more week to go...and then i change from final year student mode...to fulltime housewife...jgn jd stepford wife suah ...huhu

タイミング悪いよ

bad timing betul la printer nie....
time2 kita gambare nak print ronbun yg dh siap shuusei tu nak tunjuk kat sensei...dia nk wat pasl lak...
n the thing is the same thing happened to the other guys...and what did they say..oh that happened to us too...tp tak de sorg pun nk tlg cite how they overcame the problem...i know seme org busy ngan keje memasing...so tak gentleman ok...

last undergrad exam....

nothing much to say.....just that i just finished my (hopefully) last undergrad exam...kalau tak kena saishi laa...it's not even a compulsory subject...it's my lecturers class...and i don't need the credit...but then tak pe la right...

habis je exam it felt good...even though i got certain parts wrong...it felt good..like crossing something off your 'to do list' (you know i'm a 'to do list' fanatic)...best sangat...

subjek exam kali ni subjek 暗記 (kena hafal)...so just now as usual before the exam started you could see the juniors furiously scribling little notes on the table..yes people...org jepun pun tiru2 jugak time exam (sila jgn ikut ye!)

反省(refletion) exam hr ni...sebenarnya kalau betul2 faham cr nak buat dia tak yah hafal pun...as long as you can draw the diagram correctly...you can write you're own equation...and you need to be good at maths (which is where i got stuck today...kat bahagian maths....malu tak)....so juniors ..pay attention to your 微積( differentiation and intergration)....cause even though i always hear the quation 'kenapalah kena blajar benda ni?...bukan pakai pun'...trust me ...if your going to do any 解析 (analysis)..you're gonna need it...

serious rasa nak lr blk umah bukak buku masa kat kosen dulu2...

don't you wish what you have worked so hard to learn never leaves you....like how you learned to ride a bike and never forget...alangkah indahnya kalau cm tu...

do you think it's fair...but the again life isn't fair...

i don't know if this has anything with how things work in japan...or whether it's the way things are done in the real world...

we do research with a japanese company here..it's a common procedure...the company comes and supplies us with the things we need for the experiment and we do the experiments for them...they get the data they want for the purpose of their research and development and we get to use some of it in our thesis...

anyway this particular research is only a small part of my thesis only one chapter of it...but it took up most of the time...anyway...since i am officially doing my research under a first year masters student...he gets all the limelight...i was prepared for that...

the first time we had a meeting with the other company i felt like a chair in the room...another piece of furniture..they don't acknowledge you're there...is this how it goes in the real world...please tell me...or is it just in japan....but hey i was fine with that...

then came the actual experiments...even though it's only one chapter in my thesis.. the experiment for this research took up most of my time...and what pisses me of is i get to do all te dirty work...all the little stuff like taking the measurements...organizaing the data...making the graphs...taking all the notes...taking and labeling the pictures of all the products tedious tedious...

and then when the actual day came  for when we had to present the findings to the respective companies all he does is copy paste the data and puts his name at the top....ONLY his name...okay lah ...i figured this must be how it goes...fine...

then he tops it of with another big whammy to my stomach...they found out yesterday that the meeting will commence at 10.30 today and he has a class....okay so it isn't his fault...so at the last minute i'm supposed to present...me who they have treated as the furniture...okay so i made the graphs and everything...but i can't present something you gave to me 15minutes before the meeting...i'm not that good....hahaha

good thing the lecturers were there ...so i got a buffer... but still i was the one who got the dirty looks was when his written report was not complete... i felt like screaming to them...look at the name written there..i just supply the data...but you don't ..you sit quietly and smile...that's how things are done..

so now..after it has all endded and the lecturers gave him the list of things to do for his incomplete report he just nods and says to me...okay i'll do this part ( as if telling me he's doing ME a favour) and you take the measurements for ribs...(which the company didn't ask for and is the most tedious,  173 X 8 = 1384 times + graphs) ....

so on top of my thesis due next friday, and  our practice presentation session also next friday i have 1384 'enjoyable' moments of measuring my 'lovable' pieces of 'art' to look forward to...

and yes people i'm not going to deny it...I AM COMPLAINING

休憩しましょうよぉ

let's take a little break shall we...and put things back in prespective...

i read on a poster somewhere...

the reason we feel anxious is because we're not living life tring hard...paham kanaa..bab2 translate ni kdg2 hmmm...

anyway i guess it makes sense..when i was younger my father used to tell me..it doesn't matter what the outcome is as long as you've tried your best...that's what kept me going during my schooling days...trying my best...

and so i am reminding myself now...dah sampai penghujung final year di fukui ni...so i guess what i'm trying to say to myself is try your best...even though problems creep up all around you...

another 2 days before i have to submit my summary, 23days to the submission of my final year paper, and 28 to the day that i have to present...

seme starting ngan 2 tu...yabe....

yakusoku wa yakusoku desu....i don't care if you're my senior...

a　promise is a promise...well in this case an appointment...an appointment he insisted on... En.F-SAN...ha...satisfied i didn't forget your -san this time...hahahaha...siap tambah encik lagi kat depan tu double your tittle...huhuhu

well anyway..i'm at the lab alone now...all because somebody said nak buat experiment today...on a saturday...and he said on thursday nak buat experiment on friday..tak datang pun semlm...sensei pun terkejut u tak dtg tau..

i know...i know..manalah tahu ..maybe you're down with the flu or maybe there's an emergency...
all i'm asking is for a little understanding...a short e-mail or sms would have been sufficient..'sorry can't make it'...ke..

since i'm already here might as well do something right...yoshhh ronbun ronbun....

oh no.....

another story for the day....
i did a big no no  today  in lab...

i was having my summary draft printed at my labmates station and we were discussing the small mundane little things..you know..graph size and colour, layout ...blah blah blah...

and he asked me ..why r all your graphs black n white..
and i said...fukuyama told me to.....uhh ohhh...big no no...terkeluar nama sempai tak de -san kat belakang..

my labmates were so shocked that even my senior M2 sat up straight in his seat....

it's a big thing in japan...this -san tzuke thing...yobitsute wa tabooooo....

and so i said i'm sorry...but they were laughing their heads off...

rupanya ada benda disebaliknya...i guess they were always thinking who was the stronger person in our group..me or my senior..it seems as though the way i was conducting myself in lab seems to have been interpreted as me being the one with the upper hand...and me saying his name out loud was just another confirmation...

sempai moshi wake nai....saya tak sengaja ...lupa nak ckp -san belakang nama mu...

didn't know they took it this seriously..but i guess i'm not at kosen anymore...kalau masuk kaisha lagi lah...nak bg card nama pun ada ketinggian mana seme...you always have to be aware of the others status....

sayang sensei.....huhuhuhu

been down for awhile...tgh winter hols akhir2 tu dah down...sbb ape..because of my summary...なかなかまとめられない.... :(

and yesterday masa nak buat final 測定 for a fig. that i really need for the summary...the 測定機 buat pasal...lg down

so i went back earlier than i planned to ...kul 7 dah kluar lab (i was the last so tak pe la kan)..gi mitsuwa beli sayur (terpaksa gaks ..wheelie tak de)... balik makan soba..and spent the evening wallowing in self pity...

and when hubby finally came back for the day and skyped me ... the first thing he asked was how did it go...your summary... dah tunjuk kat sempai...dia tak tgk hbs pun all he said was  besarkan the graphs...when i asked him a question he just looked and smirked..pastu ckp 自分で考えて....which made me feel more down...

i told my hubby how suddenly i felt like i was 'baby'ed masa kat kosen dulu...even though my sensei told me he was beeing hard on me sbb i was the only one furthering my studies...yes he made me write my own thesis..but he would go over it with me again at the end of the day everyday...correcting my japanese..showing me better ways to explain and so on..

so now when i face this jiki...i naturally thought that my sempai would at least look at it and help...but he just told me to think for myself...

and today ..right after class..i went to my senseiand asked the questions my senior wouldn't answer...

don't write what you don't know...he said...don't make it more fukuzatsu than it really is (which i tend to do)..

that's all he said..

it wasn't the '大丈夫大丈夫きっとできるから' which i keep hearing from other people..

but it felt good...

because i can finally set myself back on track...

i can finnally feel like i can accomplish this...

heck i did this in kosen...i can do it again...

not looking forward to....

baru igt nak enjoy winter hols.....an then...
macam yuki atas bumbung seme jatuh on top of my head...gedebushhhhh gitu
baru hbs meeting with sensei n even though it was particularly light..no marah marah...just telling us what we need to accomplish and so on...it was my meeting with my senior later thats making me feel so down now...

you see he just told me cuti kenkyu sampai 3 hb je la...mati2 igt sampai 5 hb...going to tokyo for an important event...from the 4th to 6th...3 hari kenkyu burn..kalau cuti sampai 5hb at least satu hari je...i can make up for that leasily... so sempai ku dgn happy nyer...i promise you he was smilling...ckp esok (esok yg sepatutnya dah cuti tuuuu) dtg kita buat experiment lg ye...smalam br dia ckp experiment dah hbs...n then br i sedar he said last for this year...bukak sekolah start balik datte...EVERYDAY....da yo....u see why i'm not looking forward to it....duduk dlm icebox tu tau....

plus the experiments usually take all day...n he said we'll do it sampai 31 january...that leaves me 5 days to write my ronbun...okla..i've already started tp..tp...the last few days are crucial to wright all the wrongs....make sure the sentences are futsukei not maskei....the sentences are dotted with periods not 'maru's...all the tedious little things lah katakan... n he expects me to matome all the data experiment baru tu in five days...the pictures, the 3D measurements, the thicknesss of every little crevice, the graphs which took me weeks to do for all the previous experiments and he wants me to do it in 5 days... ala kejap je katanya...hello i've been doing it alone....next year you jugak guna this data...help out man...ke ini keje undergad...get all the data ready...it doesn't help when the other person bawah the M2 dok goyang kaki je...dia nye senior buat seme...graphs and everything...

what am i doing...i thought i promised myself...jangan compare ngan others...couldn't help it i guess...take settle my emotions lagi...

nows the time to remind myself....syaz boleh... 5 hari kaa... yokka kan de yatte yaru...
as for all the experiments maybe i'll loose some weight...hahaha...but that's too much to hope for kanaaaa...

raya dlm koujyou

huhuhu...ntah pape ntah...

ada mesin potong besi kat blakang tempat saya buat jikken dlm koujyou tu...
bila org potong besi..dia keluar hibana (percikkan api)...
hari ni ada org potong besi kat situ...
bila tgk hibana tu, tak de la rasa pape pun...
n then..comes the smell...sokkuri dgn bau bunga api...
tetibe rasa cm raya..
bley tak...

hahahaha

1/15, 2/5, 2/10...

detaaaaaa.....tarikh tarikh that will surely make my lifw a little more hectic than usual...tarikh hantar sotsuronn youshi (graduation thesis summary), the actual sotsuron (grad thesis) and fimally the presentation that will be the culmination of my undergrad life..well if you don't count the graduation that is...it's not such a big thing here....you don't get to wear the robes or the caps..everyone wears suits...and only a few actually get to go on stage...so no...that day would probably not give me case of nerves...kat kousen dulu len ar...sorg2 naik pentas..so i had to worry about tripping on my high heels..haha..

anyway tomorrow cuti...and next week start winter hols...so i guess everyone is already in the holiday mood..nobody putting extra effort this week...mesti seme org tgh ckp kat diri sendiri...gakko akete kara de iiya.....kana...i myself feel like today is friday...datte esok cuti da mon..but then friday lak the dreaded jikken in the dreaded ice box of a koujou...and here i am babbling away..

so things i'm looking froward to next week...food, fun, and hubby...huhu...

skrg tgh having fun planning the menu...indian cuisine, youfuu, of course malay...hubby ckp mcm repetition of last years menu je yg malay tu..tp tak pe la kan...huhu..mana tau next year kita add chinese food lak...chinese food intimidates me..why..sbb bnyk seasonings that i don't know...and susah nak cr plak tu...

ok ...got to get back to my ronbun...

pindah pindah....

today...dengan rasminya bermulalah operasi pindah balik ke bangunan kikai yang baru siap direformasikan tu (wujud ke perkataan tu?)...anyway...kikkakenye sbb sokuteiki saya dok kt jikkenshitsu org len ...n org tu kata jyama nak pindah...so operasi yg sepatutya bermula esok itu tlh diawalkan...huihuihui...so td kami ber6 pun angkutlah mesin berat nanang yg mahai nak mapus seme org pun cuak...n then everyone was groaning ....

sesampai je kat kenkyushitsu...sensei dtg bwk kunci...jom kita tgk jikken shitsu n kenkyushitsu baru katanya...jd cm kengaku lak..n of course seme org ada idea tersendiri...nak susun cm ne brg2...clean slate lah katakan..

blk kenkyushitsu operasi buang brg bermula...brg nak pindah dr kenkyushitsu...3-4 kotak je...nande..ada cerita di sebaliknya yg masih belum boleh diceritakan di sini..

shibutsu masuk dlm kotak (kena angkat sendiri..waa waa waa)...n then tape up all the tables...so the drawers don't move...yg n gyoushasan tlg angkat...arigatainaaa..

esok jyunbi pindah jikkenshitsu lak...confirm kotor..all the minyak2..n the debu2....and the chemicals..and besi2

apa apa pun...i think i strained my neck already..balik tampal koyok...my lab mate nye jr plak luka(n dia x prsn..bila himo tu jd merah br dia tkejut...men...haih)

anyway...yg best psl pindah2 ni...you get to start over...seme org tgh tanoshimi...cm best je bilik sana...tp ting3 la...undou undou...hikhikhik..skali dok jikkenshitsu tingkat bwh je kan...

dah crowded balik

yup...sem 2 dah start..
you know how org kl yg beraya di kl slalu ckp 'oh kl dah jam balik' after raya...well that's how i'm feeling right now..

after sebulan lebih gi skool...org tak de..toilet kosong...senyap sunyi jer....and jikken pun juncho sbb senior tak de keje lain except..buat jikken with yours truly..

well sekarang...the kanteen is congested...nak amik duit pun beratur...toilet tak yah ckp lah kan...and sbb senior dah start kelas balik...jikken ku tergendalaaaaaa.....arghhh...dia tak pe la got one more year for jikken...i've got less then 2 months okay

the only down part of coming to skool masa natsu (other then it being natsu bila org len cuti) was the fact that kanteen tu bukak tgh hr je...tp puasa right so tak lah terasa sgt..tp bila kena stay back? berlapar lah aku sampai balik..

another thing...masa natsu nak berselisih ngan budak msia sorg pun payah...today...selisih ngan 4 budak msia within 10 minutes after i stepped out of my house...sorg on the way, sorg kat tepi kanteen, sorg masa tgh amik duit, sorg masa tgh jln ke lab...

dah crowded balik...

hisa bisa no tetsuya

i typed this long entry just now..and i ter delete everything...this is why sometimes i hate using noDell..i accidentally brushed my palm against the mouse thingy and poof...hbs hilang everything...

tp because i was writting about something yang tak best mls nak rewrite...baik spare you guys from all the icky memories kan...

speaking of icky memories ...this one i can't get out of my mind...i was disgusted...
one of my fellow B4 guys....well he's one of the well composed guys..so i thought he would be more mature..tp...i guess guys will be guys kan

kalau ye lah pun ...keep your porn n whatsoe ever to urself lah...
tak yah lah bawak datang gakko ...geli tau..

his screensaver was of a girl showing her titties everywhere...dah lah kalau bukak pintu lab tu terus nampak com dia...bukan i wanted to see it pun it was there staring back at me...eeeeewww.tak mo igt dah..

lps ni bukak pintu kena tgk lantai lah...

so guys please... keep your stuff to yourselves...
i takmo tgk...

anyway ter'stray' lak from the original to
tp tak pe lah kan

to my senior FF....keep up the good work ..tok sah pikir bout what everyone says...practice makes perfect kan..i don't think BB minds..

to my senior N...my hubby pun keluar nomikai gaks malam nie...phm sgt the feeling ... tp apakan daya...hahahaha