Saturday, February 14, 2009

snowy saturday

Jan 24
spent the night at my senior's house yesterday..tak balik lepas usrah...groggy and sleepy cause we stayed up and borak yesterday....my head was cursing me and i was half cursing myself...u should have slept...macam mana nak focus...exam next thursday sayang oi....wake up and smell the coffee la...

anyway, people who know me will that I'm in my 本気モード because i've started cleaning...i have a habit of cleaning when i want to get down to business...

so
i cleaned the balcony, sweeped the floor
stowed away my fan (won't be needing it for the next few months)
washed the bathroom
refilled the rice bin (love the feeling of new rice)
washed the rags and bath curtain and kitchen mat..
i'm on a roll hhuh
NOT...fell asleep for 30 minutes...last night must be getting back at me

still need to simpan balik the books i took out to study last night...
iron and fold clothes..
and then i can get back to studying

you're on a roll babe...jom study everyone..exam exam

戦闘開始.....

to take tribo.. or not to take tribo.. that is the question

Written 10 days before my finals

another 10 days to exam week... went to fluid dynamics class this morning....had to drag myself out of my house/room. i dread going to this class...why cause i don't have to...but I do...it's a long story...

anyways, i actually found myself smilling on the way there today...all because i answered a particularly hard 加工解析 question before heading out...only to be greeted by a practically empty class...waited waited...and the lecturer never shows up.... while the class dwindles to a mere 10-15 people, my fellow Malaysians apear... and so....the conversation on exams start... we compare the exam schedules...number of papers...and who's got it tougher...

i brought up my problem to ask for their opinion.. why is it i hate coming to this class....because i was forced to...i enrolled for another class...one i have been attending without fail ...then this lecturer comes up and says i should drop the class and attend his , why he says...to better my understanding so that i can answer the questions that he gives us in another class (演習). me being strongheaded....didn't want to bend down...cause if i drop my tribo...i'll loose marks... i already enrolled...

but as the finals comes scarily closer...i decided to attend his class...and now i'm torn...should i or should i not take the tribo exam...should i go the extra mile... i asked mr.h...he said he agrees with teacher...'you should pay attention to the 必修's (the compulsory classes)' he said. on the other hand mr.u while holding the umbrella on the way back said that it would be a waste if i didn't, seeing that my marks will go down, and that heheard the exam was easy....but it's not...and that i'm sure of.

a part of me has already given up...saying i wouldn't do well, even if i took the exam...while the other, the one that's always pushing me to try my best, is creeping up with full force...cheering me on....

stilll no definite course of action

monday blues on tuesday...

Repost : Jan 13, 2009

it's tuesday...but it feels like a fr****ing monday....in the words of garfield....i hate mondays...okay i don't hate mondays...i'm just not very fond of the things mondays imply....getting up early in the morning after getting up late all weekend, the sleepy half awaken state your brain is in, the feeling that you didn't get enough rest and the reminders of all the things you should have finished up during the weekend that you haven't....and of course the daunting feeling that there will be another five days to go through before you get to next Saturday.....hahaha..

anyway...why does this tuesday feel like monday?...because semlm cuti kat nihon ni...cuti ape? Seijinnohi. Unfortunately, kat wikipedia ada version bahasa indonesia je....and my M is a bit besar...so bear with it ...to those yang tak faham bahasa ini kay... Hari Kedewasaan (成人の日, Seijin no hi?) adalah hari libur resmi di Jepang yang jatuh hari Senin minggu kedua di bulan Januari. Menurut undang-undang hari libur Jepang (Shukujitsu-hō), hari libur ini dimaksudkan untuk "merayakan generasi muda yang bisa hidup mandiri, dan menyadari telah menjadi dewasa." Upacara Seijin shiki diadakan pemerintah lokal di kota-kota dan desa-desa untuk meresmikan penduduk yang telah atau segera genap berusia 20 tahun, usia orang telah dianggap dewasa menurut hukum untuk boleh merokok, mengkonsumsi minuman beralkohol, dan mengikuti pemilihan umum.

All in all it's about celebrating the coming of age....

so anyway...since it has been snowing nonstop for three days...and since i haven't been out ....well let's just say getting to school was a work out...walking in snow is not as easy as you think...haha...that was ok...what's not ok is the fact that my snow shoes weren't working like they were suppose to....air masuk babe...damn cold snow water...in my shoes...arghhh...beli mahal2 ...what gives man...

so I had to indure that for the next four periods...masa nak smayang zohor bukak kasut tgk kaki dah biru...warghhh...never seen it like that before...the shoes are now drying in front of my trusty heater... mula2 ingt sempat kot kering b4 tomorrow...tp td tgk cam tak...so i asked for a favour from Mr.wb4...nice guy...and he obliged...so the 4 of us went....Mr.wb4, Mr.m, Ms.J and I...igt nak beli kasut je ...last2 beli beras, and socks skali...haha..special thanks to them...for venturing out with me on this cold night...especially Ms.J yang ada exam esok...

i'm suppose to be studying too...another 16 days to exams and 41 days to my sayang's return...speaking of sayang....hari ni dia tak genki...ngantuk kot...missing you lots mister... well...i was reading a friends blog just now and i realised...there are things we thought we'd only read in novels..well they can happen....to my friend...hope you hang in there... dreading tomorrow's shinro setsumeikai...haven't decided what to do with my life yet....

note to self....try to make tomorrow better than today

Of wars amongst people and with ourselves

Written 17 days before my finals...

Last Friday as usual, we had our weekly usrah ( a gathering where we muslims discuss our religion and what it pertains, gain knowledge from others, remind ourselves and so on). It is said that if we go without reflection, gainning knowledege or cleansing our minds for more than fourty days, a black spot is created in our heart.Allahualam.

Anyway, our usrah is only attended by the female malaysyian muslims in the area. It's small and homey, which suits me fine.You see, I'm not exactly pious. And having gone through some rough times about not being really pious, made me feel anxious about joining the usrah. I'm not good at reciting the Al-Quran, and this has bothered me since my earlier school days. For that matter, I really hope I will be able to teach my future children to embrace Al-Quran and be able to recite well, as well as understand it's meaning. For now that I am grown up, I sometimes feel regret, that I am 23 and still a long way away from being a good muslim. Saying that, after bearing my heart out about my problem to the girls, and being intimidated about most of them being great at reciting the Quran, after a few months I have finally become comfortable with what I am able to do. I don't have to be afraid of not being good at it anymore, cause I know now, it takes work to be good at something..and that's what I'm gonna have to do.

Back to the subject of wars, after Isya' prayers, and the recital of the Quran ( we recited Surah Al-Fath meaning The Victory) , went on to the subject of how to perform our prayers ( a reminder), and finally on to the war going on between Palestine and Israel. We talked about the history, why they are at war again and so on. We talked about what we could do. Of course the subject of boycotting came up. I never really boycotted anything, but after hearing that these companies contribute 10 to 15 million a day to Israel, I'm not so sure anymore. My senior said, when we die Allah will ask us, what have we done for our fellow muslims. I asked myself, what have I to answer.

Then comes the subject of warring with ourselves, there's always something we need to change in oursleves, and sometimes it's so hard to overcome you need to bring out the big guns and aim it ourselves. I have been warring with my big M (M besar = MALAS) a.k.a lazyness for the last 3 days.There are only 17 days left until the finals..and I am at level 0 for preparedness...how great is that, plus i have a test tomorrow and at the same time I am trying to cleanse my heart and soul. In short, i have a lot of things to accomplish, all at the same time. Battling my rindu for my sayang does not help. Miss him terribly. i decided to fast today, it being a Monday, I needed to ganti puasa anyway, and maybe it will help clear my mind as well... Yosh, 頑張るゼ.... all the best to myself and to those who have exams coming up....

reflection of my new year's post

written about a month ago...

it's not exactly new years eve...it's about seven days later. currently watching a movie starring cameron diaz called ' a life less ordinary' or something like that on cable tv. just arrived home from a week of preparing for my sayang's departure to Canada...too tired to cook anything..so I'm in front of my noDell( nickname for my laptop) and I decided to start a blog.. my sayang left for Canada about two hours ago...and waiting the 11 hours it takes for him to get there from Japan is excrutiating. I hate having to wait for the news and praying is all I can do for now.'Please arrive safely' that's all i'm thinking in my head at the moment.

back to the subject of new years... it's the seventh of january...and in japan it's called Jinjitsu (人日, jinjitsu), literally "Human Day".One of the five seasonal festivals (五節句, gosekku). Also known as Nanakusa no sekku (七草の節句, nanakusa no sekku), "the feast of seven herbs", from the custom of eating seven-herb kayu (七草粥, nanakusa-gayu) to ensure good health for the coming year. The nanakusa are seven edible wild herbs of spring. Traditionally, they are : Water dropwort (seri, Oenanthe javanica) Shepherd's purse (nazuna) Cudweed (gogyō, Gnaphalium affine) Chickweed (hakobera, Stellaria media) Nipplewort (hotokenoza, Lapsana apogonoides) Turnip (suzuna) Daikon (suzushiro) There is considerable variation in the precise ingredients, with common local herbs often being substituted. On the morning of January 7, or the night before, people place the nanakusa, rice scoop, and/or wooden pestle on the cutting board and, facing the good-luck direction, chant "Before the birds of the continent (China) fly to Japan, let's get nanakusa" while cutting the herbs into pieces. This chant varies as well. The seventh of the first month has been an important Japanese festival since ancient times. The custom of eating nanakusa-gayu on this day, to bring longevity and health, developed in Japan from a similar ancient Chinese custom, intended to ward off evil. Since there is little green at that time of the year, the young green herbs bring color to the table and eating them suits the spirit of the New Year. The spring-time nanakusa are mirrored by the "seven flowers of autumn", which are bush clover (hagi), miscanthus (obana, Miscanthus sinensis), kudzu, large pink (nadeshiko, Dianthus superbus), yellow flowered valerian (ominaeshi, Patrinia scabiosaefolia), boneset (fujibakama, Eupatorium fortunei), and Chinese bellflower (kikyō). These seven autumn flowers provide visual enjoyment. Their simplicity was very much admired: they are small and dainty yet beautifully colored. They are named as typical autumn flowers in a verse from the Man'yōshū anthology.

now back to life... winter break ends tonight and tomorrow classes start again...and i have the dreaded 熱流体力学演習. a class involving exercises regarding thermodynamics and fluid dynamics. i dread this class ...it being a compulsary class and relying only on the exrecises for grading makes life a little scary...coz if i fail this i won't get into final year. and that won't be good..coz i might not get my scholarship for next year if i have to repeat 3rd year...arghhh...the agony..of the uncertainity i guess that's about it for now.... another person's life story...another person's words to be read

reflecting back on my words... i'm grateful my sayang has arrived and is well in Canada.. currently awaiting his return to Japan in about another 8 days.. it has been a long month for both of us.. each dealing with our own mountains to climb and rivers to cross.. life is colourful is it not..

re-reading has me thinking of how wraped my head was around that class and that teacher.. and now that it is over... well let's just say that the words above was what was going through my head at the time.. and now... it's just in the past..

a third start ... a new beginning

this is my third blog...I've moved blogs about three times ... don't really have a reason for it but hey... it's free...so what the heck..

new ideas come with new surroundings... new interractions... thus the new blog

i once thought of a blog as a diary that isn't private... nowadays i'm not so sure anymore.. you share your daily ups and downs to something more then just pieces of paper bound together... you share it with whomever wishes to stop by your little corner in the web and take time to read your thoughts.. your aspirations..

words to be re-read, thoughts to be reflected on, choices to re-evaluated, emotions to be rekindled...