Let'S feel good about ourselves today

I'm not a fan of self help books...I tend to think that they are quite repetitive..and in the end makes me feel worse about myself...

However, I think they got it right when they were talking about smiles...
F san ( my 'dearest' senior) smiled at lab today...smiled because of what, you ask..sbb the chemicals for our collaborative research with Daido dah sampai...macam budak baru dapat present..he reverently took out one bottle after another..smilling this bright smile...kalau chemical je yang sampai happy cam tu, jikken souchi dah siap nanti dunno lah happy tahap mana dia...well any way his happiness berjangkit to me an despite the various problems i'm trying to conquer...today seems like a beautiful day...a day to feel good about myself...

kadang2 rasa down because I still haven't figured out what my calling is in life..I read my friend's blog today...things rarely turn out how you expect them to do...usually taking you through a forest of thorns first...but she's gotten through her rough part in life and now has managed to find herself..nanka urayamashi pun ada..otona dah kawan2 aku skang kan..hayaku jibun wo mitsukaritai naa...

pagi tadi dpt call from sensei yang tantou shukatsu (sensei in charge of employment)..'u dah dapat kerja lom?' ... and I was like NO!!!... so what are you gonna do? ohh no...ape aku nak jawab ni..telling your friends and family what you're gonna do is one thing..nak cakap kat sensei hmmm...susah ar ckit.. sayang was on skype at the moment so he heard the whole conversation. I told my teacher ..balik Msia nanti I cari..he let it go at that..tapi still..I kinda felt like it was a lie..I'm not going back yet...and I couldn't be truthful bout that..what la..

back to feeling good about ourselves

jom kawan2

iki wo tsutte....
haaahh

be happy bout urselves and what you've accomplished in life so far


p.s: tgh happy coz minggu ni i managed to stop myself from buying anything the jihanki...haha..it's an addiction

another 40 minutes....

40 minutes je lagi and all i want to do is get it over and done with...

org sebelah siap blh snooze lagi..punya lah unaffected diorg by the upcoming presentation...

sometimes i wich they wouldn't give big names to these events...it doesn't help with the level of stress...中間発表 kedebak gitu...oh jap..tambah 会 kat belakang tu and it sounds so serious...but my labmates aren't taking it seriously are they? 2 snoozing..1 playing PSP the other..tak tau dia tgh buat pe..and me..typing..taking a break from my continuos renshu dr td..sampai dh muak tgk my slides...

just looking forward to turning in early today...

a friend said..always pray for the best...maybe i should take her advice

yea yea

malam ni nak pi tgk hawwy powte...

almost makes up for spending the day at lab....

yea yea....nak pi tgk hawwy pow te...huhu

jangan mare

uhh..somebody push me

I'm not a fan of doing research....I don't enjoy it....and getting out of bed in the morning to face another day in that lab is getting so hard to do...next Tuesday i have my mid-term presentation and I haven't even started on my PP slides...

urghh...I'm scared that one day I'll just up and go..mls lah nak gi hari ni and don't even bother to show up at lab...seriously..because if you do it one time..the next time it won't be so hard to resist to do so...scary la

so somebody .. anybody please give me a little push... just as long as it's not over a ledge

Haha..salah salah...

Hahahaha
Kelakar how sometimes people think they know what you're thnking. And how they get into this big speech to try to cheer you up...I appreciate the sentiment..showing that you care. Tapi sometimes I just can't help myself bust crack up inside...

The other night, after car trouble and dinner, we were on our way home and I was silently watching the scenery pass by when U said, aku tahu ko ada masalah Syaz, benda cam ni memanglah susah. And I was like ape dia ' I look upset ke?' and on and on he goes about how he noticed what was happening at the fami-resu, and how there are all types of people in the world and if there wasn't then the world would be dull. And how we have to learn to adapt ourselves in order to peacefully coexist and so on and so forth
and then i said ' no you've got it wrong' and he starts hinting at maybe it's concerning the august thing. and i said..tak de kena mengena ngan my sayang or our wedding...i was cracking up inside...serious nak gelak....tp kesian la kan..he was doing his best...trying to cheer me up. so i just smiled and angguk2

so what was it ? what was going through my head?
persoalan : esok nak pi umi tak? funds cukup tak? kalau pi report sempat siap tak?

i guess my forehead was really wrinkled...I'm a serious person..I think hard...hahahaha

tp ter'touch' lah my hati kejap...untung Miss A dapat U..

wedding kompangs

let's just be sure that there won't be any bells around...kompangs however would do just nicely..



after being happily busy for the weekend and ignoring blog reading and my research, i finally took a glimpse at my dashboard today, reading past entries of my fellow friends ...



a dear friend aan wrote about wedding bells and such.. writting about yours truly, touching my heart in ways some of you can just imagine...



yes, it's been years, years since i have done the crazy dance (some of you who have never seen the 'real' me would be shocked), but she still remembers. she remembers the stories of my daddy dearest who up to this day still mesin rumput , does the gardening and the laundry with his shirt tucked in (I've noticed that the only time he doesn't tuck it in is when he's wearing baju batik). About the joke, i think he's forgotten about that. It turns out that my siblings are more you know 'open' about stuff than I am..so he's probably used to it. hahaha



aan was there when it all started between me and my sayang..some could say that's how it started. That summer when aan and the gang decided to pay a visit to Yuge, simultaneously throwing Ari and myself into the preparations for their arrival.



who would have guessed that 2++ years later that this is where we would all stand. I sometimes see myself floating quietly in calm waters while my friends speed by in motor boats, others swimming at speeds that would shame the world record holders. Chasing theirs dreams, in ways only they know how.



Everyone has a path to follow. That is now clear to me. Not everyone can do what others do and enjoy it. Everything I'm saying might be atarimae , but I didn't see it as thus when I was younger. I thought if you can do it, I can too. That might be true, but I now know my limitations, and my strong points. My parents say 'you're old enough to think on your own'. I'm trying my best to do that now.



I choose to marry at this point in my life. I have chosen to stay home for a year after I finish my degree while he finishes his masters. I have chosen to make the best out of that time.



People may disagree with this decision, saying I could do more with my life in that one year. I'll be behind my batchmates career wise. That's all I'm hearing nowadays. Career, career, career. Someone says that I'm just tired. Trying to run away with settling for mediocre jobs with no challenges, saying I'll get bored after a few months. Imyself was once scared that my brain would just rust up and once I do try to enter the working world I'd be just that .. a rusted tin-man. Well...every decision has it's risks...And I have chosen



It was different in high school..everyone was going through the same thing and you could compare. Nowadays, all I can do is watch, and lend an ear to my dear friends, whatever road you might choose, be it the road to higher learning in Malaysia,Japan, US, UK or anywhere else, be it jobs in Dubai, be it family life, super careers in new sciences and groud breaking research..ooen shiteimasu yo..zutto..even lumpy people are watching..dearest friends..



My only wish is that i do not fade..that I do not get caught up in my new life that I forget you dear friends.