last undergrad exam....

nothing much to say.....just that i just finished my (hopefully) last undergrad exam...kalau tak kena saishi laa...it's not even a compulsory subject...it's my lecturers class...and i don't need the credit...but then tak pe la right...

habis je exam it felt good...even though i got certain parts wrong...it felt good..like crossing something off your 'to do list' (you know i'm a 'to do list' fanatic)...best sangat...

subjek exam kali ni subjek 暗記 (kena hafal)...so just now as usual before the exam started you could see the juniors furiously scribling little notes on the table..yes people...org jepun pun tiru2 jugak time exam (sila jgn ikut ye!)

反省(refletion) exam hr ni...sebenarnya kalau betul2 faham cr nak buat dia tak yah hafal pun...as long as you can draw the diagram correctly...you can write you're own equation...and you need to be good at maths (which is where i got stuck today...kat bahagian maths....malu tak)....so juniors ..pay attention to your 微積( differentiation and intergration)....cause even though i always hear the quation 'kenapalah kena blajar benda ni?...bukan pakai pun'...trust me ...if your going to do any 解析 (analysis)..you're gonna need it...

serious rasa nak lr blk umah bukak buku masa kat kosen dulu2...

don't you wish what you have worked so hard to learn never leaves you....like how you learned to ride a bike and never forget...alangkah indahnya kalau cm tu...

do you think it's fair...but the again life isn't fair...

i don't know if this has anything with how things work in japan...or whether it's the way things are done in the real world...

we do research with a japanese company here..it's a common procedure...the company comes and supplies us with the things we need for the experiment and we do the experiments for them...they get the data they want for the purpose of their research and development and we get to use some of it in our thesis...

anyway this particular research is only a small part of my thesis only one chapter of it...but it took up most of the time...anyway...since i am officially doing my research under a first year masters student...he gets all the limelight...i was prepared for that...

the first time we had a meeting with the other company i felt like a chair in the room...another piece of furniture..they don't acknowledge you're there...is this how it goes in the real world...please tell me...or is it just in japan....but hey i was fine with that...

then came the actual experiments...even though it's only one chapter in my thesis.. the experiment for this research took up most of my time...and what pisses me of is i get to do all te dirty work...all the little stuff like taking the measurements...organizaing the data...making the graphs...taking all the notes...taking and labeling the pictures of all the products tedious tedious...

and then when the actual day came  for when we had to present the findings to the respective companies all he does is copy paste the data and puts his name at the top....ONLY his name...okay lah ...i figured this must be how it goes...fine...

then he tops it of with another big whammy to my stomach...they found out yesterday that the meeting will commence at 10.30 today and he has a class....okay so it isn't his fault...so at the last minute i'm supposed to present...me who they have treated as the furniture...okay so i made the graphs and everything...but i can't present something you gave to me 15minutes before the meeting...i'm not that good....hahaha

good thing the lecturers were there ...so i got a buffer... but still i was the one who got the dirty looks was when his written report was not complete... i felt like screaming to them...look at the name written there..i just supply the data...but you don't ..you sit quietly and smile...that's how things are done..

so now..after it has all endded and the lecturers gave him the list of things to do for his incomplete report he just nods and says to me...okay i'll do this part ( as if telling me he's doing ME a favour) and you take the measurements for ribs...(which the company didn't ask for and is the most tedious,  173 X 8 = 1384 times + graphs) ....

so on top of my thesis due next friday, and  our practice presentation session also next friday i have 1384 'enjoyable' moments of measuring my 'lovable' pieces of 'art' to look forward to...

and yes people i'm not going to deny it...I AM COMPLAINING

休憩しましょうよぉ

let's take a little break shall we...and put things back in prespective...

i read on a poster somewhere...

the reason we feel anxious is because we're not living life tring hard...paham kanaa..bab2 translate ni kdg2 hmmm...

anyway i guess it makes sense..when i was younger my father used to tell me..it doesn't matter what the outcome is as long as you've tried your best...that's what kept me going during my schooling days...trying my best...

and so i am reminding myself now...dah sampai penghujung final year di fukui ni...so i guess what i'm trying to say to myself is try your best...even though problems creep up all around you...

another 2 days before i have to submit my summary, 23days to the submission of my final year paper, and 28 to the day that i have to present...

seme starting ngan 2 tu...yabe....

yakusoku wa yakusoku desu....i don't care if you're my senior...

a　promise is a promise...well in this case an appointment...an appointment he insisted on... En.F-SAN...ha...satisfied i didn't forget your -san this time...hahahaha...siap tambah encik lagi kat depan tu double your tittle...huhuhu

well anyway..i'm at the lab alone now...all because somebody said nak buat experiment today...on a saturday...and he said on thursday nak buat experiment on friday..tak datang pun semlm...sensei pun terkejut u tak dtg tau..

i know...i know..manalah tahu ..maybe you're down with the flu or maybe there's an emergency...
all i'm asking is for a little understanding...a short e-mail or sms would have been sufficient..'sorry can't make it'...ke..

since i'm already here might as well do something right...yoshhh ronbun ronbun....

oh no.....

another story for the day....
i did a big no no  today  in lab...

i was having my summary draft printed at my labmates station and we were discussing the small mundane little things..you know..graph size and colour, layout ...blah blah blah...

and he asked me ..why r all your graphs black n white..
and i said...fukuyama told me to.....uhh ohhh...big no no...terkeluar nama sempai tak de -san kat belakang..

my labmates were so shocked that even my senior M2 sat up straight in his seat....

it's a big thing in japan...this -san tzuke thing...yobitsute wa tabooooo....

and so i said i'm sorry...but they were laughing their heads off...

rupanya ada benda disebaliknya...i guess they were always thinking who was the stronger person in our group..me or my senior..it seems as though the way i was conducting myself in lab seems to have been interpreted as me being the one with the upper hand...and me saying his name out loud was just another confirmation...

sempai moshi wake nai....saya tak sengaja ...lupa nak ckp -san belakang nama mu...

didn't know they took it this seriously..but i guess i'm not at kosen anymore...kalau masuk kaisha lagi lah...nak bg card nama pun ada ketinggian mana seme...you always have to be aware of the others status....

sayang sensei.....huhuhuhu

been down for awhile...tgh winter hols akhir2 tu dah down...sbb ape..because of my summary...なかなかまとめられない.... :(

and yesterday masa nak buat final 測定 for a fig. that i really need for the summary...the 測定機 buat pasal...lg down

so i went back earlier than i planned to ...kul 7 dah kluar lab (i was the last so tak pe la kan)..gi mitsuwa beli sayur (terpaksa gaks ..wheelie tak de)... balik makan soba..and spent the evening wallowing in self pity...

and when hubby finally came back for the day and skyped me ... the first thing he asked was how did it go...your summary... dah tunjuk kat sempai...dia tak tgk hbs pun all he said was  besarkan the graphs...when i asked him a question he just looked and smirked..pastu ckp 自分で考えて....which made me feel more down...

i told my hubby how suddenly i felt like i was 'baby'ed masa kat kosen dulu...even though my sensei told me he was beeing hard on me sbb i was the only one furthering my studies...yes he made me write my own thesis..but he would go over it with me again at the end of the day everyday...correcting my japanese..showing me better ways to explain and so on..

so now when i face this jiki...i naturally thought that my sempai would at least look at it and help...but he just told me to think for myself...

and today ..right after class..i went to my senseiand asked the questions my senior wouldn't answer...

don't write what you don't know...he said...don't make it more fukuzatsu than it really is (which i tend to do)..

that's all he said..

it wasn't the '大丈夫大丈夫きっとできるから' which i keep hearing from other people..

but it felt good...

because i can finally set myself back on track...

i can finnally feel like i can accomplish this...

heck i did this in kosen...i can do it again...

isn't it funny

isn't it funny that all we can remember from the winter hols was the food.....